I forget you for lifetimes but You remember me every moment.. I reject You by asking for Your proof not knowing that You are the One giving me the intelligence to even remember my name.. What ability do I have to understand Your energies O Lord.. You are so close but still I can’t know You.. I’m too insignificant to fathom Your glories… Yet you make me feel special.. I hate myself for so many sins that I perform every moment… How can anyone possibly even look at me after knowing my truth? You are the only one who knows the complete truth and You are the only One who still looks at me with affection.. Can’t You see how fallen I am? Can’t You see that I’ll never improve? Why don’t You give up on me? Why do You still make me feel that everything is going to be alright? I know Bhakti is the greatest welfare activity but still I don’t have any genuine interest in it.. You came as Prabhupad to show me the right path… You have now come as Gurudev to take me to my destination.. I try to walk a little.. I fall down often… Every time I fall I get up.. not to fulfill Your expectations.. But to prove to the world.. That even a duplicitous devotee of Nitai can never fall down permanently.. To prove the world that I’m under the care of the most affectionate Father.. the most forgiving Master and the most encouraging Friend… Thanks for always being there.
Joy Doyal निताइ !